Dear grandma211964,

Bless you heart. You have a long journey ahead of you.
Yes GP first.
About the violent nightmares, there are some age appropriate remedies.
For kids there is a product called ghost/monster be gone in a can, which is perfume spray.
For older kids there are books you can read together to help get over fears and for you this will take a lot of patience. ect..
No,
Neglected/abused children can see and feel normal people as scary, because that was his reality.
Are you considering gaining custody of the older one?
I would start with GP, to rule out any physical problems first.
Lending you some strength to endure as things proceed.
Happiedasiy