hi Gaston I feel for you but why don't you try the thought process what can it hurt. I know the fear of the unknown is terrifying but all this does take place in our mind ...so why would we not try to face that fear head on..step back and look at full in the face...taking baby steps just look at it like your looking at someone else and talk yourself thru it sorta like talk therapy. Some times we try to hard and that ends up being an obsession I hope you don't mind my opinion it is just a thought and I hope thing get better for you..I know it can be terrifying when we feel we have no control but you CAN do it..take care and god bless