Glad you posted and got a little bit of it off your chest (literally!). I relapsed for the first time in years last year, and I found the easiest way to deal with it was to forgive myself. We focus too much on the negative with stuff like this, so you had a bad relapse ONCE but how about all the times before that you resisted and overall come the urges? Count your stars and be proud of them! In the kindest way possible I truly believe that episodes like this could be a good thing... It highlights our growth and reminds us of how far we have come and how strong we are; how have you developed as a person to deal with the situation at present compared to how you would have dealt with it back when you was SI'ing? Of course you are worried it will happen again, but you now have the experience of resisting all those years and overcoming it. You can do this, a moment of weakness triggered by stress in your life and under the influence of alcohol is merely a blip - not a setback. So congrats for the years you have resisted, we are very proud of you. In the meantime, can you find a way to deal with the stresses that triggered it?

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