Sidony, I often feel that way about anything I "should" do, doesn't matter if I decided I should do it or someone else (although someone else is slightly more irksome just because my stepmother use to rule my life and thwarting her appeared to be a joy :-)

I also get angry if I'm "too" anxious; it's the only way to get me out of a frozen fear state and moving. I'm a very good stomper/slammer :-)

I can calm myself using my individual T's voice, remembering one day when she had to say, "Not with that attitude!" :-) It still brings me up short and makes me smile and try again, "nicer." Usually looking and realizing I'm afraid/still afraid and thinking of some little thing to help me or some "experiment" to try for myself (dare yourself to do/say something specific in group) will reconnect me and remembering my T's words/manner and how long I worked with/trusted her and how she's a part of me now (and I'm a part of me now :-) helps too.