Quote:
Originally Posted by henrydavidtherobot
When I was first diagnosed with BPD, I went into a great depression. I had an earlier blow of being diagnosed with Cyclothymia 3 months earlier. I've always suffered with panic and insomnia. How could I lead a normal life?
But, I've done OK.
BPD scared me because the people that I've known with it are so mean and manipulative and whatnot.
But, I've accepted that I manifest this illness differently. I'm not mean. I do not call people names and do not cheat and do a lot of good things for others.
So, I've gotten over the fear that I am a shithead. However, my mean BPD friends all have successful relationships and I don't.
So that's my new fear. I don't have it in me to guilt or manipulate anyone into loving me.
So, who will? I'm difficult. No one cares about the good in me.
I feel like I'm going to be misunderstood forever. I feel unlovable. I'm willing to try to get over this, but I don't want to be always alone.
What can I do? If I tell anyone about it, they will judge me. Or not get it. I'm stuck.
The only solution that I have is to travel the world, build my career, volunteer for organizations, and cry in my free time.
It isn't an enjoyable life. Why can't anyone like me?  |
i think that being a nice bpd could be worse, it depends on the situation.
for me as a guy with bpd it definitely feels like it, im a big time pushover and me neediness has gotten me into all sorts of trouble in my relationships.
i have had girls steal money from me,verbally abuse me and cheat on me. all i ever wanted was to be loved intensely & in return i got trampled.because of my abandonment issues i would stay for years and tolerate the abuse. i believe everyone is lovable to some extent, you just haven't found the right person yet. building your career is a great thing to be doing and it should help & who knows you may find the right guy while doing that! good luck!good guys just like good girls are like needles in a haystack, hard to find, but once you have it you know what you got.my last ex was one of those needles, but of course with my bpd i blew it, now she is bi polar so obviously that didn't help
but we still talk and little by little things appear to be getting better, last night we had a long talk about our coping skills (which i have very little of) and us working on them, so hopefully things will get better for you!
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
