Yes I have a very good home routine. And I exercise (less in hospital but I have been going for long walks 3 times a week). At home I have access to the exercise bike and have a whole lot of ourdoor work for the horses to do. Exercise has never ever made me feel good, but I do it because I know its good for me. Usually after exercise my mood drops.

I go to a community mental health support group every week. I see a pdoc every week, meds pdoc one week, psychodynamic therapy the other.

I have plenty of activities to do once I am at home, and I am very good at using coping strategies. My pdocs and nurses say I am as prepared as anyone they have ever seen and I am doing all the right things.

I had all of this before and still ended up in here. There is nothing new or different this time round (besides having zyprexa, I only had seroquel before). I dont know how I am going to keep myself safe next time when I was so so close to doing it last time. This is what terrifies me. I know Im going to get hormonal again, I am as prepared as I can possibly be, but I'll have no idea when it will hit, how bad it will be or what I might do...