I am very confused. I'm in therapy, I have social anxiety and clinical depression, and I think I may be slightly asperger's.

Outside of the therapy room, I am a recluse. I am terrified of emotional intimacy, physical intimacy and on top of that, I find socializing extremely draining which is probably my asperger's.

Based on my experiences interacting with people outside therapy, I would say that I'm not someone for friendships and relationships by nature. I just find it too uncomfortable and too much effort. However, my transference in therapy is saying the opposite. My relationship with my therapist is really important to me. When I'm with her I feel safe and my fear of being close to another human are gone. It makes me aware of how lonely I feel and wish I did have a real relationship, but in the real world outside the therapy bubble I have no interest because I'm terrified.

What should I make of this?