I feel very overwhelmed because the resources in every aspect of my life are limited. I have very few people to help me with my kids. My bf does what he can to make sure they get to ball games, band practice, etc. while I am at work at my night job. He's trying to help me with my finances, but he's broke too. My kids are old enough to tend to their own needs at home, but that doesn't relieve the guilt I feel for not being there for them as a mother. I rarely see them anymore. I've had to start working two jobs to support us and that takes up so much of my time and energy, not to mention has caused my mental health to take a major turn for the worse. I see someone at a mental health facility, but to be honest I've no idea what her title is. I go talk to this lady once every week or two, but she is not the actual doctor and doesn't have the ability to prescribe me medications or make a diagnosis about my health. I see the actual doctor once every three months and he is quack. It is very apparent that doesn't read my file and has no clue what is going on with me. He won't prescribe me medication because in the 10 minutes he spends with me, he concludes that I'm managing fine without meds despite me telling him I'm barely hanging on to my sanity. That is the only treatment center within 60 miles of the small town I live in, and I don't have the three or four hours a week that it would take for me to drive 60 miles away to obtain treatment and then drive back. The only available time that I have for myself is when I should be sleeping, and that time is limited as it is. I have always expected perfection from myself, but lately I've learned to lower my standards. However, I feel myself fast changing from a perfectionist to someone who does just enough to get by and to not get fired at work and just enough to keep my kids alive at home. I'm so overwhelmed that I feel like I'm about to go into a complete shut down. If that happens I will loose both jobs. I am screaming for help, but there is no one coming to my rescue. I was exhausted before I started my second job. I've lived over half of my life in a state of fatigue. I've had countless blood tests and a couple of MRI's, and I've seen a neurologist and a cardiologist, but no one can find anything wrong with me. I've given up looking. But now that I've taken on a second job, I can barely hold my head up. I can't keep going like this for much longer and I don't know what I'm going to do.