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I understand. I have similar reactions (though I try very hard not to let them show), and I'm engaged!
Definitly work on it with a therapist like psychehedone said. I think it will help. Simply trying to rationalize it will likely not work, but T's have a way of getting past "rationalizing through talk therapy" and into some deeper stuff that does work.
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"You can't hop a jet plain like you can a freight train" - Gordon Lightfoot
"It starts with light, and ends with light, and in between there is darkness" -I forget
"Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight" -BNL
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