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Originally Posted by AllShallBeWell
It's true that I made a mistake thinking that I could be open-minded enough to not be hurt by a sexual affair. We discussed the fallout from that and I made it clear our marriage was now closed. I guess that's why I'm particularly angry that he's continuing to sneak around behind my back. I can only assume that he doesn't think men count.
I may be naive but craigslist is full of people looking for casual hookups.
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well I know there are a lot of people looking for casual hook ups but I would contend that if any of these hookups went beyond a very few times even they would have a hard time not forming some kind of relationship and if they think they won't they're being naive too. No judgement on you...
The fact that he is continuing is all on him. it's no longer your mistake and although you might have set him up on this path, he's no longer acting with accountability to you.
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In my husband's case I think he's looking for something I can't give him (because I don't have the right equipment and am reluctant to go there), not to mention the huge variety of available people to do it with.
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Be careful not to make excuses for him now. That is something that is his choice period. it's not a "need" as I am guessing you give him normal, traditional sex, it's a "preference" he has and by doing what he is doing he's making his preference take precedence over his marriage and in a way devaluing the importance of putting your values and priorites at the top of his list.
Although you made a mistake initially from this point, he's responsible for being continually adulterous. Seems to me either he changes, or you accept it or get out.