Hello weathered,
I am soryr you are feeling so helpless at this time. Have you sought counseling for your issues. Counseling can be very beneficial for your mental health issues you are having at this time, and help you cope at a moe manageable level. Also if you PM psisci (which is DR Wylie). he may be able to recommend soem medication that may help you with your disorder. I hope you feel better soon. Take care Soidhonia