Thank you, it really means a lot. I'm really quite well today - I've had a dramatic shift in my job search and suddenly got three interviews all at once, all for amazing companies in my field, which has lifted me a lot.

I don't panic and spiral down so much whenever I can seize hope that I will be able to look after myself financially. Not just because I don't think I'm going to end up in some kind of shelter for homeless women, but because even a little bit of money would allow me to build more of a life for myself. The pdoc I saw agreed with this. Part of my problem is that I have got interests and passions but am so hamstrung financially I feel very trapped when the career front looks bleak.

Peaches, thank you - I sent a long text outlining things rather than a proper email.

The Skeezyks, it is indeed an accurate picture of where I was a couple of days ago, and realistically I could well be there again before the week is out. My mood is very unstable. However, I don't think a hospital would be the place for me. All they can do is drug me up, and I'd inevitably miss more time at work, not be as alert for job interviews if I was on heavy-duty meds, and so become even more poor making my position worse. It's brutal but I have to sink or swim, there is no buoyancy aide available. But thank you.