Wow.
From what you write it sounds as if your husband might be addicted. And he seems to think that life is like porn....almost like he thinks that that's what sex is really like.

Of course your husband is wanting you to stay...he's got everything he wants.

That said, if counseling is out of the question, then personally I couldn't stand by the sidelines and watch his continuing actions.....

You're in an open marriage, no matter what you think. Whether you can accept that is really up to you.