I feel really depressed, agitated and annoyed.

My therapist set me up to see a pdoc today because she feels my meds need to be adjusted, he called and I told him I'm not leaving the house. I just don't care, I don't want any new pills or any new side effects I'm content with this depression. I don't wanna leave the house, and I think I'm gonna cancel my next therapy appointment. Therapy doesn't help my bipolar, my moods are my moods, you can't change lead to gold. It's all pointless. I'm managing my suicidal thoughts. I have a constant headache, I'm ready to go to sleep. I jut want it all to end, no I'm not going to hurt myself, but I think about it constantly, like a craving for chocolate I can't control.