I struggle with it also. Recently went of a ultra scan that I thought would be a normal jelly on the belly one, but it was told to me suddenly that they need to do it internally.

I just numbed out immediately. I dont remember much more about the hospital appointment. I use to deal better with my smears before therapy, now I have uncovered more memorys I just avoid the smear tests and take my luck with health.

Its my body and I'll make the decisions.