Too hell with this guy! He lies to your face and cheats on you! He has physically and emotionally abused you! Assaulted you! Screw him worrying about his retirement money, that is HIS fault. He has no respect for you. I would have left this bastard the first time he'd lied to my face. You don't need him, clearly you sound like you are strong enough to get yourself out of your situation and divorce this dirtbag. You don't need any more of his abuse. Save yourself. Get help from a social worker, women's shelter, Dr, anybody to help you get away before he does any more damage to you. You are worth more than that!