Sidony,
Do you have separate goals for your individual therapy and your group therapy? If it were me, I might write down my goals for each form of therapy and see if there is any overlap. If there was duplication of goals, I might then try to decide if one type of therapy was sufficient to reach that goal. If the answer was no, I would feel more justified in going to group, like it was something I really had to do to achieve my goal. In this way, I might feel greater "buy in" to the group process. If on the other hand, I felt that individual therapy would help me reach the goal more quickly or effectively, I might focus on that. If it seems that your two therapy modalities have different goals, and both goals are very important to you, then this also might help you get the buy in you need.

Maybe you can just sit in the background of the group for a while and see what you can learn from the group dynamics that already exist, without trying to be a participant. This could be helpful too or at least intellectually interesting, and maybe a good way to ease into the group and become engaged without becoming threatened. Maybe view group like watching an episode of "Survivor."

Does your T run the group too or is it a different leader? When an individual's T runs the group also, there can arise questions about conflict of interest. I'm not suggesting there is a problem here, but just good to be aware of.

If it were me (and this is totally me!!), I might resent that my T wanted to take up my time in our one-on-one sessions talking about group. I consider my session time so precious I would not want to "waste" it talking about group. Do you think this could be contributing to your anger?

It sounds like you have already made an important connection between how you are behaving in group and how you behave in other relationships. Sounds like something of interest to discuss with your T!

(((hugs)))

sunny