i think it is good to consider the context. this is a forum where there are a number of people dealing with quite heavy issues; they are in therapy in the midst of processing those issues and thus are in a rather vulnerable place. that is a very different context than say a political or religious forum where debate and freely giving one's opinion may be common communication styles. so, a higher degree of sensitivity does go a long way here. i tend to be direct but am learning to soften my language a bit and try not to give as much advice as i would in the past. each person here is unique and so there really aren't any one-size-fits-all ways of offering support. if someone says, like you do, that they like it straight then shoot straight, but if someone says that isn't what they want then it's probably best not to unless the person is just doing something incredibly self-destructive (e.g. severe cutting that will land them in the hospital or worse). remember how jesus only gave people as much info as they could handle? it's kind of like that. maybe what you want to say is what they need, but they just aren't there yet and won't be able to receive it. or, maybe it isn't being spoken in love. you'll find your way around here, amelia. just give it some time.