Hi Jasper, I think you have a grasp on reality and that is good. I do not understand why people are not honest about what they want. Lying is never good, and I am glad you are not being naïve.
It is sad to me that you are so worried about being alone. Settling for someone who cheats or lies, or abuses you in any way is not healthy for your anxiety or stress level as you must know. You are worth more then that and I hope that you will work on your self esteem. When you realize how wonderful you are and that you deserve the best I think you will make better choices in a relationship!
Good Luck to you