That pretty well sums up where I am too. It's a different situation of course, but the long and short of it is so much howling into the void. Cumulative things that are crushing my soul. Feeding into a downward self-esteem spiral. And fed by. It's a vicious circle. I'm not depressed per se, just seriously losing hope in areas that really matter to me. It's not that I don't appreciate what there is, I just wish what I desperately need actually mattered in the mix.
Ok, now on a lighter note. …. I've had them a couple of years. Once, early on, I'd worked a graveyard shift, so decided to do some grocery shopping on the way home. You know, about 6 am. Whoa. Did that stuff in the case just move? Then later, canned goods. I thought it was some kind of weird-***** hallucinations. (I've had some perceived motion issues with those shifts, so... disconcerting, but not unprecedented.) Then I realized what it was and just stood in the aisle laughing like an idiot. Shift head, hahaha. Swoop. Hahahaha. Right there in the aisle in fluorescent rain gear. Must've been quite a sight.