Supposed to go to inpatient today and I'm terrified. I mean its like, what's the point. Nobody has a magic pill and no one is going to "take care" of me... and unfortunately I have proven over and over that I'm no good at maintaining it on my own??? I just want a life like "normal" people have. Go to my kids school events and sporting events, be there for them, have friends that I can be maintain relationships with, have a healthy relationship, get a career???

I'm feeling defeated and sad. Life wasn't supposed to be like this.