I hate this more than the depression. This constant dread and fear in the pit of my stomach, like my body is preparing for a punch to the gut that never seams to come. I want to crawl out of my own skin so much so that I have actually started scratching myself without realizing it. I woke up this morning to long lines of bruises on my leg from scratching in my sleep.

I have an anti-anxiety but at this point it is barely taking the edge off. I plan on talking to my pdoc aboutthis when I see him next.

It just sucks right now. I am having to watch my every movement to make sure I am not engaging in repetitive motions. My hands shake, I can barely eat... It just sucks!

And I am getting worse, at first it was a small episode here or there. I took my meds, and practiced my coping skills and it went away. Now it is constant, every single moment I am concious. I feel like I am going crazy.

Sorry for the long vent, I am not sure what I want, advice from someone who has been there, or just to not feel alone and losing my mind.