I've just accepted what ever happens next cycle, happens. I will not go for professional help again. I have told the doctors that. The last 2 weeks of this stay has been more detrimental than helpful to me. I could teach the groups I have done them so much and have that much knowledge of depression and how to cope with it. No one can help me with the hormone side of things. So I am just accepting what will be will be. If I happen to end it, then so be it. I tried to get help but no one can do anything. I feel calm now I have accepted that. And I cant wait to get out of this **** hole.

I've already filled out my discharge papers, but left less than positive feedback for them, so I bet I will get hell from the nurses for the next two nights until I can finally get someone to pick me up (cost over $100 to get home by taxi so that option is out). Im ready to get home and back into my own comfort zone.

Getting more and more tired everyday, sick of struggling through, recovering from one severe PMDD episode just to have another. The last two were less than 9 days apart. I know I need to remind myself it'll be fine by august. Then its just Bipolar to worry about... My quality of life is low and that takes me down the slippery slope to suicide.