Wow, almeda24fan, that sounds like such a tough situation. I think you are doing the right thing in seeking help for yourself. It sounds like you have already made great strides with dealing with your depression.

I am married and I did tell my husband at the beginning that I was going to seek help from a counselor. (He had been to a therapist himself for just a few sessions several years prior and had not told me about it, but at least I knew he thought it was OK to seek professional help for mental health problems.) He never asked about my counselor or our sessions and I didn't discuss them with him. He just wasn't interested, as in "it's your problem, you deal with it, I don't need to know." Now I am seeing a different therapist and I never told him I switched. My current T is male, whereas my original counselor was female. But I don't think he would be jealous if he knew.

Can you point out to your husband that it seems like he is resisting your going to therapy? And tell him it is for your health, and just like any other healthcare provider appointment (e.g. dentist, eye doctor, gyn, etc.)? Maybe he would then consider that his resistant actions may be sending you the message that he doesn't want you to be healthy or happy?

I think it is strange he would make you take your son to extra daycare so you can go to therapy instead of just taking care of your son himself. That seems incredibly lazy! And how must your son feel to have Daddy reject him like that? (maybe I am not understanding this piece right--just seems odd to me!)

Please stand firm in your decision not to have more kids until the marital problems are worked out. And be sure he understands you are firm. Having additional children will not help the problems you are trying to work on.

I have a really good web link on the pros and cons of the husband and wife having the same therapist (for individual therapy). (I will post it in this thread later when I am posting from home.) There are good reasons to go to the same person but also very good reasons to have separate therapists. I would not be able to tolerate it if my husband had the same T as I do.

That is great you are making progress. That is a common source of stress in a marriage. One person makes progress and grows. The other is left behind. This challenges the "left behind" person to either grow or perhaps lose the relationship. Please don't give up on couples therapy. If you stand firm, your husband will know how much the marriage means to you and how committed you are to making it better (and making it last!).

Hang in there.

sunny

P.S. I am a 24 fan too!