Went to see my Dr today as over the past 2 weeks I’ve begun to have some rather nasty slides once more. They haven’t been consistent, but when they’ve happened they’ve been intense. Was worried that the tablets might not be having the effect they had.

I wouldn’t say he was dismissive (he’s actually a really nice guy), but on hearing that things have been up and down… and at that time (this morning) I was pretty calm, lucid and I guess ‘ok’, he had no concern. Said that dips will happen and that at this time I should continue as is and keep taking the tablets.

Regardless of pretty strong suicide ideation (I’m using I think ‘mindfullness’ and the elastic band technique to ride it out) which I told him… that was that.

As the day has gone on, I’ve been restless and gittery (not sure if it’s a trigger of the morning or just more of the same everyday) and a tad disenchanted… alone.

He wants to see me again in 3 weeks (rather than 2months which was the original plan a few times ago).

I don’t like wasting other peoples time.. and so it’s bothered me.