Chickened out and postponed inpatient. Called a private practice that in their little welcome answering blurb mentioned they were the only facility practicing ECT. Woo hoo! That's a shocker

Anyway...i feel scared and desperate and want things to get better NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW. I know it doesn't work that way, but I'm so sick of feeling nothing.

I told my mom to ignore any attempts to avoid going to the hospital tomorrow. I am trying something as opposed to rotting here in my apartment.