I'm happy to hear that you are letting go of pleasing other people. That is something many people struggle with but you overcame it.

I think you are totally right. If he doesn't try, it won't work. You have to do what makes you happy. Ofcourse you could help him with overcoming his depressed mood, but eventually he will have to do this on his own. You can't 'fix' him.

Don't worry about too much about how divorce will effect your kids. My parents are divorced. At first, ofcourse I didn't like it (I was still a little kid). But after a while, I adapted to the situation and realized it was better for them and for me & my brother. If you and your husband are unhappy together, your kids will see/notice that and that WILL effect them. You're their mom and you deserve love and respect and you shouldn't settle for anything less.

I hope you and your husband can make it work! Good luck!