Sorry its been a while. I had a talk with him and waited trusting he would get a move on. The day after the talk he went out and applied to three places. The next day we had to take my daughter out of town foe a doctors appointment and since I can't drive he spent the day wih us doing that. The next day was skipped just because. Then the next and the next and he hasn't applied anywhere since.
He was offered a job by a neighbor starting in two weeks. Problem is this neighbor seems like the type of guy to be all talk and there be no job. My husband is now counting on this job and doesn't plan to spend any time lookig elsewhere. He spends all day on his guitar. I even spent a long time with him to show him that I'm not against him playing the guitar but trying to expeess my concerns that he puts the guitar first. He must have missed that memo because no matter how many times I ask him to take it easy on the guitar he doesn't. Hut tosay he did and we both took long naps. I'm gettig worse sleep the further into the pregnancy I get.
He has been waking up wih my daughter andvgetting her ready for school so I can get some more sleep but I muat admit when I spend six plus hours scrubbing the floors and dishes, cleajing the mess and diig the laundry while he sits and plays the guitar I get fruatrated. He will help if I ask him too but its like pulling teeth and some times he says he will do it but it takes two weeks of laundry piling up before I give in and do it myself.
I love this man, I truly do. And I understand what he is going through. When I was diagnosed with epilepsy I quit my job and had to take time off and he worked cookes and often cleaned for six months. I understand. I just can't do it all on my own, notnow. I only have seven weeks until the baby is due and cleaning this house leaves me limping all night and mornig from my back legs and feet. He seems excited about this new job, and if it pulls through its exactly what we need to get by. But last week our water was cut off for jon payment. Our lights are about to be soon. We got the water back on and technically have the money to keep the lights on but his paychecks were supposed to pay for it but instead it has to come out of our rent money. We had nearly 5 grand. I had it all planned where every dime would go to catch us up. But since getting the five grand he quit and we have been licing on it and its pretty much all gone. I've sewn up my only bra, which is too small for me, three times already. I'm on my second month of using the same disposable razor. Part of that money was supposed to go toward things like that. I allotted myself and my husband four hundred each for necessities. He spent his on a new guitar which was fine. But him quitting his job meant I only ended up beig able to spend 120 on me and the rest on school clothes for my daughter, household items, bills, etc. I don't mind sacrificing at all for my child or my husband but I don't think he understands that sacrificing on necessitiea such as these for over a year can really wear on a person. My clothes all have holes in them. My shoes are all ruined so I'm left wearig his flip flops. He says "go buy what you need" but when you have no income at all and you only have an extraa twenty in the bank apart from rent, how could you be so selfish?
I will pray and pray hard that this job works out and I know and believe God only wants the best for us but if this is a test, it sure it a hard one.
I know my husband feels bad for all of this and I try not to make him feel worse in fears that it will make the situation worse. But every time I'm told how much is in the bank vs. How much we need to pay, it ets to me