Breaking my little vow of silence because I have 3 essays to write and I'm procrastinating. :P

I had a doctor who thought I was faking because he thought my symptoms were "unusual" (the only thing I can think of is that I told him I had musical hallucinations, but I think he misunderstood that. I hear clips of songs or song lyrics that have personal significance/are messages or instructions. I don't hear instrumental music if that's what he was thinking.) and he thought I was emotional/had BPD because at the time I was self-harming because I picked it up from other girls in the hospital. Other than that one week period, I haven't self-harmed for the purpose of "release" or whatever reason most people do it. I also don't have the other symptoms of BPD, though I do get more depressed and anxious when I'm in the hospital.
So I guess BPD patients are more likely to fake something like this? Still can't see anyone maintaining this in the long term because like Atypical said, meds are hell. A necessary evil in my world.

punkybrewster6k, I wish my parents were as understanding as you. If I thought mine would understand, I would have told someone about the voices a long time ago and maybe stopped things before they got so bad. I remember trying to fake colds/sore throats just so I could see a doctor and tell SOMEONE what was going on without going to my parents. My dad even accused me of faking...

Which brings up another point about why faking it in the long term just doesn't make sense. Why would anyone intentionally shame themselves by getting labelled like this... I am humiliated by this disorder. I don't tell people I have it because I know no one will listen to what I have to say once they hear I'm schizo or "psycho" or whatever...