I'm feeling overwhelmed. Am I manic am I mixed am I depressed? Does it even matter what is wrong with me? Am I falling apart? Am I experiencing on the same continuum? Have I lost the essence of me? No silly you can't lose your essence. Why do I have to interrupt and be the center of attention? Why do I feel that I'm forced to live this life as a prisoner to my emotions?
I hate that my wife has to deal with this so new into our marriage. I'm worn down and tired. I fight to stay afloat. I've always been "emotional" my parents said (there were other choice words involved as my parents were abusive). Can I keep a hold of my sanity when I'm on a roller coaster for weeks at a time? I mean how can I keep a hold on myself when my self changes with these mood changes? I don't know what to do to keep myself centered and focusing on the good things. I talked to my psych nurse today. I just needed someone to ground me before I scorch my wings on the sun. To avoid the sudden fall back to the earth. Stay positive. I'm positive that I can't escape the turmoil of my brain. I do these things sometimes and act so unlike myself, why?

Tig