I know how hard it is, I have spent my whole life waiting for someone to notice that I am unhappy. I've always figured that if someone else could just ask, then I'd open up. I'm still waiting and the longer I've left it, the fewer and fewer people there are left to ask me, but worse than that, there is no-one around anymore to for me to tell. So although I'm being massively hypocritical and advising you to do someting that I've never really had the courage to do, please find someone to talk to and don't wait for them to make the first move. Be brave, we all care about you here.