Thankyou for the support guys. It really does help. I think I will tell my nurse when she next comes in that I am a SH risk, but I dont know why and I dont like not knowing why. Am I reacting like that because I didnt get to go home when I wanted to? I hope not because I dont mean to be a brat, and maybe I just am if my thoughts are like that. For all I know I could have spotting tomorrow that explains this all (hormones) but I cant predict the future.

The pain is really bad right now (razor blades iin my uterus) so they are calling my pdoc to get permission to give me stronger painkillers. I dont think I can make it to see my friends which is a downer, but at the moment I feel I will be a risk. I didnt want to admit it before because I didnt want them to hold me (voluntary clinic but they can revoke leave if you are a risk). Plus I cant stand upright which will make walking the 2kms to see my friends a bit difficult.

Im so tired of all this, Im tired of whinging, Im tired of trying to cope. I wish I could cuddle my horse, she is the best treatment I have. I think being so distant from her for so long has really influenced my positivity. I have lost the bond with her being in her and that has had more effect on my mood than anyone (even myself) realises.