I can relate to being controlled by everyone, feeling alone and having no self esteem. I'm sorry you're going through hard times right now, I hope I can be of some help or positivity with this message.
I read your other thread about your daughter's (ex?) boyfriends mom. It sounds like she pretty much verbally harassed you. If you can, try to forget about what she said. Take it as coming from a place of her insecurity and it might be easier to keep her unnecessary comments from upsetting you.
I'm not a mom so I can't share your pain, but my sister has punched my mom out before and it's infuriating! It's very rude and if your daughter does it often, it is abusive in my opinion.

On not letting people control you- I'm still struggling with this very much. One thing that helps me is to affirm things that are true, like "I am a person of worth. I don't deserve to be stepped on or ignored", "I have a lot of love to share and I deserve love too". I've also adopted a saying that goes "be like a duck" which refers to water sliding off a duck's feathers (not letting people's comments get to you and keep going with your day), if ducks get wet then they can't float!
There are some resources online that tell about being assertive in everyday situations, in interpersonal conflicts and crises, so if you were to look into that you might find something helpful

Is there any way for you to take some time for yourself? I know you said you are lonely, but it might help to take a mini vacation if you are able to. You can relax on a vacation, and the physical distance will also allow you to look at things from a far away perspective, possibly enabling you to come up with some solutions or self revelations.
If not, are there any classes you'd like to take for fun, like pottery, painting, or maybe joining a community center club? Do you like volunteering or going to church? You might also be able to meet new people that value you more than your current friends seem to, and also share your interests.
You are probably busy, being a mom, but if you are at least able to take one day out of the month/ week for only you, or even just a few hours a week, I think it might be a good thing for you

take care and let us know how you're doing