Hi again all and thanks for the comments. Thank you for your faith in me Alison. The problem is my depression is so severe that it has blocked all sense of joy in my life at this point and I have no desire to try any of the activities you have suggested. I know how that sounds, like I'm giving up, but I can't help it. I have no desire to try anymore. I have been depressed basically my entire life and I have no passions at all. When I was a kid, I had a new hobby every 5 minutes. As I got older I kicked the hobbies and focused my entire world on my studies. Zinco would know, living in an alcoholic household, you grow up in a very negative, chaotic environment and my way of dealing with it was to shut it out and keep to myself, focusing all my life on my work. It never made me happy, nothing did, but it was my escape. I would not be able to go out and enjoy myself with others, I don't know how to enjoy myself. I am and always will be just that observer guy, who the whole world passes by and doesn't notice. It's the only way I know. I just can never see myself being a normal human being in this life.