I am sorry that you are going through this. I agree with the posters above that mentioned that you are on the right track and that you cannot make others happy. This may be part of your personality but sometimes it is not what the situation needs. Take care of yourself and your little ones and enjoy life as much as you can.
My wife and I have been to 4 marriage counselors in the past 30 years. 2 were horrible, 1 was great (for me but wife hated her) and the other was just an avenue to open dialogue. We found later that having someone open the dialogue helped the most and at times we would re-direct the dialogue during the sessions since the counselor was stabbing in the dark for discussion points. Having a counselor that turns out to be one sided and always takes the woman's (or the man's) perspective does not help.
From a man's perspective - Like your husband, I used to work long hours (100 hours per week - yeah the depression ended that eventually) and hated going home to my wife. Many times a man will avoid home to avoid the perceived aggravation. Also, neither of us gave the most important things to each other in marriage. She needed me to tell her how wonderful she was and I just wanted physical (not always sexual) contact.
If he agrees to more session then I would say there is some hope - even if he is only doing it to appease you. He may eventually truly see that you still want the marriage and that has meaning to him.
Advice - take with a grain of salt- I would sit him down and quietly ask him what he needs from you and just listen and ask him to truly think about this for a later discussion. If there is a time that he is willing to listen, tell him what you need from him. I know this sounds really simplistic but I have found after so many years, if the basics can be covered, there is much that falls into place. I went through the motions for years so I know these difficulties can be overcome.
In the end, I can see that you love your kids and want the best for them. Even though I do not like the idea of divorce, think about where you want to be in 3 years, 5 years 10 years.
I wish the best for you I hope all goes well!