I have no idea how to do that. I have asked T's repeatedly and they don't answer. For years I tried to be gay. It did not work out. I found no acceptance. The scene was too wild for me.

I have little control over my life - I cannot be the person that I want to be. I cannot live the life that I want to live. Being gay is awful. I would not wish it upon anyone. It has made things more complicated than I am capable of dealing with. Try to be friendly and everyone (gay and straight) thinks you want to sleep with them. Not true in my case; I just want to be friends. I am so tired of being treated badly. It happens over and over and over. I no longer attempt to socialize.

I hate my body too. There are so many foods I do not tolerate that eating is not enjoyable. There are also few beverages I can drink since I cannot have sugar or acidic ones. My body is not attractive. I am so bald there's nothing that can be done. I hate it. There is nothing to be happy about. There is nothing I can do to make my life better. Accepting that I am a miserable, unhappy, unattractive person will not make my life any better.