Hey wildflower,

I too am a chronic med ditcher. I don't have hypomanic phases that I can label as such, but I have plenty of stupid, careless, thoughtless actions that fit the bill. I know I need meds when I'm depressed (like now), but after I'm "fine" for a while I am like F this, why do I have to be cursed??? I'm fine!!! And I taper off or quit. I've gone almost 5 years until now without a bad depression, but oh am I in it now.

I don't know why we do this, but its definitely a symptom of our chronic condition. I feel like if I just had a stable caring partner that would watch over me I'd be fine, but that hasn't been in my cards either. I'm feeling really hopeless right now. I want you to know you're not alone.

Hugs and keep talking.