Quote:
Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25
This is such a huge problem for me! My husband does not understand AT ALL and frankly he never will. I've tried to explain to no avail. He can't grasp the concept of depression and he gets full on ANGRY when I don't just "snap out of it".
The biggest problem is that I get extremely irritable and can't stand to be touched. I deny him any physical affection, even just a hug. That's what makes him feel unloved. So I try to be aware of my emotions and understand when I'm not angry at him, really. I try to take deep breaths and allow a hug or a kiss. Unfortunately intimacy is out the window and I can't help that.
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I can really relate to this. I feel like he expects me to snap out of it too, and I'm supposed to walk around saying "life is wonderful, I'm so happy all the time" with a stupid smile on my face all day.
There's not a lot of physical affection either, because I don't feel very attracted to him at the moment, due to a lack of understanding/unwillingness to be supportive of what I'm going through. So I try and hug him anyway so he feels loved, but he doesn't want me to do it if it's faked. It makes it very hard for me to know what to do. I can either fake it until I feel better, or wait till I'm feeling more "up" and do it then. But in the meantime, I have to put up with his complaining about feeling unloved.
And as for intimacy, well I try and do that for him, but he says he doesn't want it from me if I'm just doing it for his sake. But a lack of drive is one of the symptoms of depression, and until my depression is under control I'm not going to have a genuine drive. So once again, he complains that there's a lack of intimacy, but when I try to make an effort for him, he complains because it's not "real"
I really don't know what to do. Leaving him isn't really an option as we have a young child and a family business. But staying with someone who is very difficult to get through to isn't my idea of a fun life.