Hi Juliana,

I hear ya. I think Bipolar is a tricky diagnosis. I wouldn't of course be able to say whether you are or aren't,. I'll just give you a few thoughts starting with I was given the diagnosis of bipolar over 20 years ago--I had difficulty accepting it. My diagnosis primarily came about after taking one of the older tricyclic antidepressants Imipramine, for a severe depression in my early 20's. I started cycling back and forth between mainly depression and hypomania for about 6 mos.

Then I got the bipolar disorder diagnosis. As you probably know one of the key ways bipolar II or III is diagnosed is if you have a hypomanic or manic episode following administration of an antidepressant. Despite knowing this, I pretty much rejected the diagnosis because I think I felt since I didn't really go out of control like the classic Bipolar I people--and my episodes were really short, and I have a brother and sister who are that classic type and I didn't see myself as being like them. I also thought deep down too it might not be so bad to be a little bipolar if I was more productive--well, it never really was all that productive, but I did tend to say things I wouldn't say if I wasn't hypomanic and have angry outbursts--not extreme ones--but I just wasn't me.
I agree that the things you answered yes on would probably apply to most people and alone are not indicative of BD except the sleep issue is key for me. For me, needing less than 6 hours sleep is a prime indicator I am in a hypomanic episode OR it can trip off a hypomanic episode.
Since I didn't really accept my diagnosis, I went off my medications several times ove the years primarily because I think my deep down belief was that my depression was a sign of character weakness and the hypomania was sort of a fluke. The depressions always returned and the hypomania.

I think it is believed that repeated depression in your 20's often may be "soft" bipolar disorder. That unipolar depression is more likely for people over 40--although not exclusively. If I am mistaken on this, I hope someone would answer in this thread because I am not as up on the science of these disorders as I once was.
Anyway, Juliana, I would express your concerns to your pdoc, ask what it is that makes her give the diagnosis, talk about your feeling that it doesn't apply, and that family and friends state they do no see such signs.
When you say you are a worrier and cautious , calm and even keeled, I relate because I think that is my more "normal" self. These sort of disappear when I am hypomanic. There was a time when I wanted to just think the hypomanic episodes where these characteristics receded greatly were as I said, a fluke, but now I accept that i am bipolar II or III. For me acceptance was a long time in coming.

Take care,

Meta