Hello AG.
I know it i hard to tell people how you may be feeling at this time, but I really feel in time when you trust people more at Psych Ce ntral a lot of the fear of telling how you feel will be minimized. Everything takes time and time will take care of a lot of the questionable reasoning that you have at this time. Even coming to chat and listening and being part of Psych Central helps until you feel your way to talk to someone else. Sometimes one of the first steps in communicating if feeling that others are like yourself. You are more than welcome to come to chat and see if there is anyone you connect with that you feel like you could talk to about your issues. The posts may be most helpful to get you connected to someone that cares and understands. Take care soidhonia