I'm 28 years old and have been living in complete hell for about 25 years. I always knew something was off. I have been to 5 different psychiatrists, and 3 psychologists in my lifetime, and to be completely honest...they all have failed me. I was first diagnosed with depression/schizophrenia...I was prescribed wellbutrin/abilify/paxil..which I took regularly for 3 years and saw NO signs of improvement...actually the side effects caused me to have restless leg syndrome, and increased suicidal thoughts. I attempted to hang myself and was put into the hospital for evaluation...Another psychiatrist suggested that I do not need wellbutrin or abilify and should just take paxil....Which I did...for another 3 years straight, with NO signs of improvement, and constant anxiety and suicidal thoughts. The thought of suicide and ending my constant pain/anger/anxiety/hopelessness, was the only thing that ever comforted me. Knowing that I could end all the problems in a matter of seconds was very appealing to me. I went to yet another psychiatrist for another opinion. He says...paxil? no, you need to be on Zoloft. With a lot of hope, and trust in a new doctor who seemed confident with what he told me, I agreed and started taking Zoloft. 2 years of Zoloft, and another hospital trip for me due to breaking my hand by punching through a window, and then punching a brick wall because I was completely fed up with Doctors and all of this medication that I was taking regularly did 0 good and made everything worse. Finally, a psychiatrist at the hospital I was in told me something that made sense at the time...he told me " The reason the medication isnt working is because you are not depressed. You are Bi-Polar"...After some research into the illness, I completely agreed and the description fit my symptoms EXACTLY. He put me on Lorazepam, Lamictal, Zyprexa, and Paxil. It's been 3 years of this medication, and nothing has improved....not 1 thing. Actually, the smallest things will set me off into a rage and it has caused me to quit numerous jobs and is hindering all of my personal relationships. My Dr. tells me to keep taking my meds regularly and to exercise more. Really?....I am at a complete loss....numerous psychiatrists...ungodly amount of meds...only to crush my faith. I feel as though I am doomed...like there is no answers to my many questions. I just want to be normal....to live a normal life. Can anybody....anybody at all help me. Please. I am at the end of my rope and dont know what to do anymore.