Oh such a wonderful day, even from the beginning. No suicidal thoughts whatsoever and no cravings or thoughts to self harm either, which is a nice plus. I'm beginning to notice patterns in my moods. I get a little manic then depressed then manic again then depressed again. Gee... duh I just described bipolar at its simplest. What I'm saying is that it's nice to start to see something concrete to look at that says, "hey! I sort of predicted this was going to happen, so I can try to feel a little better (or calm myself down )"

Now that I don't have to worry about being suicidal this next week (I hope haha!) with people in town it will be so much easier to get along with people. I plan on telling my therapist I was suicidal, I did have plans, I will be again soon most likely. I know that isn't really positive but I think it's the best thing I can do right now. I hope I'm in a good enough mood to not chicken out on Monday.

Such a good day though! I worked for 2 people who couldn't show up and still got out at normal closing time. Sure I was speed talking like a nutball all day and customers/boss thought I was on cocaine, but who cares I actually had fun at work again!

I'm fairly confident that I can handle my depressive episodes in the future if I can get the right stuff lined up with my therapist and pdoc. I want to get some sort of procedure for times when I get really depressed, because it seems to be happening rather frequently and intensely lately.

Ahhhhhhh so glad to be back to a person who can converse somewhat normally with people again! Hope you guys can make sense of this post, I wrote it in like a minute or something so its probably all mixed up LOL!