Hi I am a 24 yr old female in US. I have struggled with depression as far back as I can remember and have been in various forms of treatment but so far nothing has helped. I've been grinning and bearing it thru the day for years now and I can't take it anymore. My solution seems to have been to fully isolate myself and now i am left dealing with the crushing loneliness of my own making. Due to a difficult failed relationship almost 2 years ago I was forced to basically restart my life and am still dealing w the fallout of that. I live w my family who loves me the best they can but to them that means making sure I am just okay enough to not embarass them regardless of how i feel inside. I have no friends (I used to have 3 very close friends and in the past few years they have all separately moved to different parts of the country and are living happy normal lives while I stay behind spinning my wheels in the dirt. I am in a "relationship" with a man who doesn't love me although he is not a bad person he is sick w addiction and so self involved due to that that I know it's an impossibility. I myself am an addict who has been struggling with recovery for years. I try my best to maintain sobriety now but I definitely am not perfect. However it's the hopelessness and the sadness that r suffocating me now. I guess I'm trying to explain why I feel this way but I don't know. I don't have some big sad problem that needs fixing I don't have feelings I need to sort thru I feel like I just have nothing but emptiness. Like I said I have no one to talk to and it feels like no one on the this earth cares about me at all. I feel silly posting here and selfish because I'm sure there's ppl that r so much worse off I just was wondering if anyone else has felt this way and has tried all the most often suggested means of changing it without success- but has somehow found a way out. I just want to feel like a person and I don't know how. Thanks - B