Things have been somewhat improving the past few months, but still it seems like it's not enough.
i am still unhappy and i don't know what to do about it anymore.

I've tried going out with friends, but instead of making me happy, it reminds me of the past and of what i don't want to be or want to do. I don't like my friends anymore and I don't feel i'm good enough for other people. or something like that. I don't have the confidence to make new friends, but i'm tired of being alone.

I exercise. I've lost weight, which made me feel better about myself, but I'm still not satisfied.

I've been getting along with my family, or at least have been trying to not take things too seriously or let them bother me too much.

I'm finally able to start school this May, which I have been wanting to do for a long time, and it has been my goal my whole life to go to college. But for some reason, now that I CAN go, I don't feel like it. I don't feel that I can make it.
I know that I'm smart, but i just dont think i'm smart enough.

All this has helped, ALOT, but still, i am not happy.

I really think it mostly has to do with the fact that I am not confident in myself and I have a very low self esteem.
I started working, which is good..
But I've been so quiet at work and kept to myself and not very friendly and open, which is not like the real me. So i prety much just stand there the whole time (when i'm not busy) all alone, bored to death, feeeling stupid.

I know I must not be that bad because there are people that supposedly like me.. but i just don't believe it.
When someone tells me i'm smart, i don't believe it.
when someone tells me i'm pretty or something like that, i don't believe it either, and i think they're just being polite. I really do. I don't believe people really like me, because if they did, they would show it, not just say it.
maybe they do, and i'm just too expecting too much.

so, how do i change this?
How do I make myself feel better about myself, if myself doesn't like me?
i know, confusing.
I've changed my atittude about life and it helped so much, but i can't do anything and can't change anything and be happy, if im not happy with myself.

If I can't even like myself then how can others like me?
I'm so lost.
what do i do? where do i go?
i'm not going to a therapist/councelor again. the lady i went to see didn't help at all.
maybe i have to do this on my own. But how?