I have been involved with a sweet, eager to please, loving man for 10 years now, married for 4. Problem is, he acts like a child, talks like he's a know-it-all, has a real problem admitting he's wrong or taking blame. He blames me for his anger, saying if I wasn't on his *** and giving him so much pressure that he wouldn't behave the way he does. I am on his *** for every little thing, but sometimes I'm not and he still acts like an ******. I have spent the entire relationship yelling get out and I want a divorce. Then I go back b/c I see all the good in him and I realize that I'm selfish and difficult and all he wants to do is spend time with me. I feel like I can't voice my opinions or feelings if they are different than his b/c then he accuses me of telling him he's wrong. I'm beginning to think I am depressed and codependent. His best friend thinks he suffers from verbal dyslexia, where he makes up stuff and lies to himself so he's never wrong. My family and friends don't think he's good enough for me and have seen him put me down, criticize me and tell me the "right" way to do things. Thing is I've done the same thing to him in front of his family and friends. My family thinks he abuses me and when I say that I've abused him too they tell me they think I was reacting to him, that I have no self esteem and I would be different with someone else. He has gotten in fights with all of my friends and family b/c he always has to be right and talks out of his *** about things he knows nothing about. He's very defensive. I've read countless articles on emotional abuse and always realize that I am guilty of it too. Months ago, everything blew up and he walked around the house yelling and screaming about how he wanted a divorce (usually my line) and threatened to get me out of the house, walked around singing ****** and loser, just not to my face. When we started talking a week ago b/c he was nice again and I was crying, I tried to call him on his behavior and his reaction was, "what about all the things you did to me?" He seems to think his behavior was ok because I tried to defend myself and fought back and when he threatened me, I protected myself. Now, we both have lawyers and he now seems willing to discuss the issues in our relationship and work on them. He's willing to go to marriage counseling, but I'm nervous b/c twice in the past he told me that if he went to a therapist the therapist would end up needing him. Our divorce is on hold and we're supposed to be deciding what we want to do, but I am having trouble trusting what he says and I feel like he's just on his best behavior. He told me that he had 6 months of not talking to me and he had changed-he doesn't get mad anymore. I want to believe that things will change if we get counseling, but I can't keep living my life this way. I try to leave, then I go back-done it the whole relationship-only difference this time is that I'm now working on me. In the past, I blamed him for everything, my unhappiness. But when I think about it, a lot of the times I was unhappy was b/c he called me an ******, which I did too, or I would try to talk to him about his behavior that hurt me and he would twist it around so that I would feel wrong. I'm sorry this is so long, but now he seems so much more grown up and I'm so confused. I don't know if I should just call the lawyer and go through with the separation, which he thinks he's going to buy me out of our house, or should I try to make my marriage work. Sometimes I think he only cares about the house. Can anybody offer any advice? I would really appreciate it. Thanks.