I don't know about the sedate part, but I'm at the point where I'd welcome my T abusing her power towards me. I'm intensely attracted to her in every way. I call her number sometimes just to listen to her voicemail. She's in my head all the time. I think about her, I dream about her, I got it bad. I've even told her about it to a degree. She let me know that she can't have romantic relationships with clients. And while part of me is dying for her to abuse her power and allow us to hold each other and let it lead whereever it may lead, I can see how that would create a lot of problems. For one, I'd want that every week. And secondly, then I'd worry that if she crossed that boundary with me then perhaps she does the same with others which would make me jealous and ultimately depressed. So it's for the best that those boundaries are never crossed.

The way I see it, when you're sitting across from someone who gives you their undivided attention for an hour or so and you pour your heart out to them and they offer support and advice instead of ridicule and rejection, how could you not fall a little in love with that person? It would be abnormal not too. Especially when they look as good as my T. Although I know I'd feel the same way no matter how she looked. Because it's about the way she makes me feel, not how she looks. And I don't really buy into the whole idea of it having anything to do with something you didn't receive as a child. Maybe that's the root for some, but not me. Transference is not a one size fits all problem. For me, she's filled a void in my otherwise lonely, depressing existence. It's only natural for a lonely person to want to be held without it having anything to do with problems from your past. I wasn't expecting to have romantic feelings towards her. Heck, I was expecting to hate going to therapy altogether. But it's been a pleasant surprise, and the romantic/erotic feelings towards her have been an unexpected side effect. But not an unwelcome one.