Thank you. I would have to agree and give myself some credit for the courage and tenacity it takes to fight all these years.

In your case I have read that the more depressive episodes you have the more likely you are to have them in the future. They take on a life of their own. I think this is true more for people who are prone to situational depressions. If you can prevent yourself from sliding into a full blown depression the better your odds are for the future.

I have often been scolded by pdocs for not getting in to see them when I first noticed myself slipping instead of waiting until I was in it full bore. I don't know how I could have done this as it takes a month to get in to see them but nevertheless it is easier to prevent before it gets real bad than it is to pull you out when you are in deep.

In my case I don't think much of this applies because I believe it is deeply ingrained in me genetically and biologically and I am very treatment resistant. It is however true that as I have gotten older they have become worse and longer lasting.

So in your case I would advise doing whatever is humanly possible to prevent yourself from diving into a very deep one and your chances will be much better. Get in to increase your meds early. Or do whatever coping strategies you have learned to prevent a full blown episode. Don't let it become an ingrained part of your life. If it is possible. For you it may be.