You are not at all selfish for posting here. Your problems are as real as anyones. Depression doesn't need a reason it can just happen for no reason.
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I don't have some big sad problem that needs fixing I don't have feelings I need to sort thru I feel like I just have nothing but emptiness.
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That is depression. I would however challenge you on that statement. Addicts with depression often have alot of deep issues that need to be resolved.
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I myself am an addict who has been struggling with recovery for years. I try my best to maintain sobriety now but I definitely am not perfect.
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What are you doing to maintain your sobriety?
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I have struggled with depression as far back as I can remember and have been in various forms of treatment but so far nothing has helped. I've been grinning and bearing it thru the day for years now and I can't take it anymore.
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Don't give up on treatment for it. Grinning and bearing it on your own is not the best way to treat it.
I don't mean to sound preachy. I myself am a recovering alcoholic addict who has had depression my whole life so I do have some perspective on it. Please keep posting here. Both addiction and depression are serious diseases and need treatment. You are not alone.