Because starting the ruminations just leads to a spiraling dilema, in which it is very hard to repeat the images in my head exactly the same time every time. When this happens, I spend a very long time trying to fight through the images one by one until I have repeated them exactly a certain number of times.

This is something that I cannot do anymore. I have been dealing with this for over 10 years now, and I am ready to be free of the whole problem.

Thank you for reading and posting thought, I do appreciate it.