i just want to give up, give up trying and just do nothing anymore. i feel like i have lost everything i loved in less then a year. i keep struggling and pushing to try to get those things back and be the person who i once was. i try harder and harder but all i seem to be doing is going backwards. my head is so cloudy and i cant see, i feel like im trying to get out of my body, a body that feels dirty and dark. i look around and everything i see seems like it isnt real, i cant explain it. i sit down and ask myself, what makes me happy? but everything that did make me happy and made me me, i have lost. i dont know where to turn. no one understands me and how i feel so i dont bother saying anything anymore. i dont wanna push anymore.....